








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2035 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4757 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4174 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2986 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,461 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shipREKT | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Ayro! | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Kus the pirate | 50% | 30 |
| #4 | Vert | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | Kus | 49% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Moth Lothbrok | 43% | 40 |
| #13 | Timmy | 41% | 34 |
| #14 | sangleZ | 41% | 86 |
| #15 | Traz | 37% | 54 |
| #16 | dunx | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KegZ | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Kus | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Vert | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | sangleZ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KegZ | 370 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 195 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | dunx | 158 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | vessel | 152 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | sangleZ | 116 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | +3.20 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | shipREKT | +2.15 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | Fan Man | +1.30 | 66 | 35 |
| #4 | Kus the pirate | +0.86 | 53 | 56 |
| #5 | LogZ | +0.56 | 80 | 44 |





