








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3112 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3323 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2687 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2222 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,302 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shipREKT | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Vert | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | LogZ | 48% | 116 |
| #5 | KegZ | 48% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Fan Man | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | Ayro! | 43% | 68 |
| #10 | vessel | 41% | 46 |
| #11 | blk-Na7han | 41% | 86 |
| #12 | Kus | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KegZ | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Vert | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Ayro! | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | LogZ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KegZ | 366 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Moth Lothbrok | 127 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | blk-Na7han | 109 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | LogZ | 101 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fan Man | +3.91 | 72 | 36 |
| #2 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | +3.59 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | shipREKT | +2.01 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | KegZ | +0.61 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | sangleZ | +0.34 | 37 | 64 |





