








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 531 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2017 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1931 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1273 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,269 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timmy | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Fan Man | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | Gh0stye | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | vessel | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | dunx | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | Traz | 41% | 34 |
| #12 | Moth Lothbrok | 41% | 27 |
| #13 | Vert | 40% | 20 |
| #14 | sangleZ | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sangleZ | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | KegZ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Vert | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Ayro! | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | blk-Na7han | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KegZ | 242 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | blk-Na7han | 191 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | dunx | 139 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | vessel | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fan Man | 119 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Coach* DefSyndrome | +3.27 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Fan Man | +2.77 | 67 | 38 |
| #3 | LogZ | +1.25 | 78 | 48 |
| #4 | KegZ | +0.80 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | dunx | +0.75 | 52 | 74 |





