








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 233 | 25% |
| Smokes | 179 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 196 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,161 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defex | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | IM FOUR | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Styxxx Youngbone | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | p0ke | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | taro | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jodelexpress (dada) | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Jona | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | poop | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | maj | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Styxxx Youngbone | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jodelexpress (dada) | 133 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jona | 110 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | taro | 48 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #4 | maj | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Defex | 25 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saiyo | +6.50 | 57 | 64 |
| #2 | Jona | +6.37 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | taro | +5.05 | 92 | 64 |
| #4 | maj | +3.16 | 84 | 64 |
| #5 | Defex | +2.82 | 92 | 55 |





