








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 82 | 29% |
| Smokes | 69 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 68 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 61 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $41,127 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✟Toxic✟ | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | Ricky retardo | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | palpajol | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | lqN | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Lil Mazda | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | palpajol | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | lqN | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Lil Mazda | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | vsewerin2k | 25% | 4 |
| #7 | Klunkeguden | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricky retardo | 3 | 0.0194 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricky retardo | 29 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lil Mazda | 19 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | vsewerin2k | 15 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | lqN | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | palpajol | 11 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vsewerin2k | +3.91 | 51 | 46 |
| #2 | Lil Mazda | +3.09 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | lqN | +1.40 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | Sir Alhamludmilla | +0.16 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | palpajol | -0.83 | 67 | 73 |





