








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 105 | 18% |
| Smokes | 171 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 176 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 129 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,488 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vsewerin2k | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Ricky retardo | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Sir Alhamludmilla | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | ✟Toxic✟ | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | Klunkeguden | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricky retardo | 3 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ricky retardo | 33 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | vsewerin2k | 24 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | palpajol | 22 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sir Alhamludmilla | 17 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✟Toxic✟ | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vsewerin2k | +2.96 | 54 | 60 |
| #2 | Lil Mazda | +1.89 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | Sir Alhamludmilla | +1.03 | 77 | 50 |
| #4 | lqN | +0.97 | 82 | 69 |
| #5 | palpajol | +0.29 | 68 | 66 |





