








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 50 | 16% |
| Smokes | 107 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 71 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 90 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,036 of utility $278 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Alhamludmilla | 43% | 7 |
| #2 | Ricky retardo | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | vsewerin2k | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Lil Mazda | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | lqN | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vsewerin2k | 30 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ricky retardo | 27 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | lqN | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Klunkeguden | 18 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | Lil Mazda | 17 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Mazda | +2.33 | 59 | 74 |
| #2 | vsewerin2k | +2.06 | 41 | 54 |
| #3 | lqN | +1.93 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | Sir Alhamludmilla | +0.65 | 71 | 51 |
| #5 | palpajol | +0.20 | 68 | 67 |





