








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4297 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2912 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2861 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3735 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,196,514 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KovaArska | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Olaf The Snowman | 52% | 240 |
| #4 | эки | 49% | 370 |
| #5 | Jake Ferman | 49% | 333 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Olaf The Snowman | 52% | 240 |
| #4 | эки | 49% | 370 |
| #5 | Jake Ferman | 49% | 333 |
| #6 | HAYPOLE aka HEINÄSEIVÄS | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | 57 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Olaf The Snowman | 23 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | HAYPOLE aka HEINÄSEIVÄS | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | 2338 | 0.30 | 71 min |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | 864 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | Olaf The Snowman | 761 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 211 | 0.36 | 6 min |
| #5 | KovaArska | 67 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | +1.59 | 66 | 80 |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | +1.36 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | Olaf The Snowman | +0.28 | 53 | 66 |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | -0.93 | 32 | 71 |
| #5 | työmies | -1.26 | 46 | 65 |





