








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 915 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 687 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 136 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,980 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16131 | 38% |
| Smokes | 13611 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4250 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 8988 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,660,875 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 760 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KovaArska | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | Olaf The Snowman | 53% | 430 |
| #3 | Jake Ferman | 50% | 662 |
| #4 | työmies | 49% | 370 |
| #5 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KovaArska | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | Olaf The Snowman | 53% | 430 |
| #3 | Jake Ferman | 50% | 662 |
| #4 | työmies | 49% | 370 |
| #5 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake Ferman | 41 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Olaf The Snowman | 39 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | työmies | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | KovaArska | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake Ferman | 1632 | 0.12 | 41 min |
| #2 | Olaf The Snowman | 1301 | 0.14 | 39 min |
| #3 | työmies | 949 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 410 | 0.35 | 11 min |
| #5 | KovaArska | 153 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | +1.32 | 66 | 76 |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | +1.18 | 58 | 57 |
| #3 | Olaf The Snowman | +0.13 | 54 | 68 |
| #4 | KovaArska | -0.82 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | työmies | -1.22 | 47 | 65 |





