








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 186 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4447 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3393 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4995 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3486 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,962,579 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | 53% | 430 |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | 53% | 363 |
| #3 | työmies | 52% | 240 |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | KovaArska | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | 53% | 430 |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | 53% | 363 |
| #3 | työmies | 52% | 240 |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | KovaArska | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | 53 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | 24 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | työmies | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | KovaArska | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | 2812 | 0.31 | 82 min |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | 948 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #3 | työmies | 602 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | Sakari "Kyrpäjooseppi" Österma | 198 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #5 | KovaArska | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | эки | +1.65 | 66 | 78 |
| #2 | Jake Ferman | +1.41 | 58 | 59 |
| #3 | Olaf The Snowman | +0.11 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | työmies | -0.99 | 48 | 66 |
| #5 | KovaArska | -1.50 | 68 | 64 |





