








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2209 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2460 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1777 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2609 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,548 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deSilverSpoon | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | hydrodynamically designed | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | No Sniffing | 61% | 93 |
| #4 | Zeuslander™ | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Minksauce | 56% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | No Sniffing | 61% | 93 |
| #4 | Zeuslander™ | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Minksauce | 56% | 62 |
| #6 | Ghost of KYIV | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | Pro Bowler Duke | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Sniffing | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | hydrodynamically designed | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Minksauce | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Zeuslander™ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | deSilverSpoon | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minksauce | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | hydrodynamically designed | 80 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | No Sniffing | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zeuslander™ | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pro Bowler Duke | 44 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hydrodynamically designed | +5.44 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | SnowWinky | +3.14 | 48 | 53 |
| #3 | No Sniffing | +1.40 | 56 | 33 |
| #4 | Minksauce | -0.54 | 33 | 34 |
| #5 | deSilverSpoon | -0.71 | 41 | 37 |





