








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 127 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1611 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1170 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1765 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1585 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,591 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Joosegamer | 43% | 23 |
| #3 | bilppu | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | Kanqqu | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | älä viiti | 33% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bilppu | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | Kanqqu | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | älä viiti | 33% | 101 |
| #6 | ♥ Kolibri ♥ | 30% | 23 |
| #7 | KermitTheKiller | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanqqu | 8 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | älä viiti | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | KermitTheKiller | 4 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | pörriäine | 3 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | ♥ Kolibri ♥ | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Kolibri ♥ | 85 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Joosegamer | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | älä viiti | 60 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | bilppu | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | KermitTheKiller | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | +6.25 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Kanqqu | +1.92 | 76 | 32 |
| #3 | älä viiti | +1.49 | 79 | 36 |
| #4 | Joosegamer | +0.29 | 59 | 59 |
| #5 | KermitTheKiller | -0.17 | 61 | 51 |





