








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7499 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7784 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3952 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4896 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,617,744 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ClutchPack | 49% | 357 |
| #4 | PP-Bizon Man | 48% | 160 |
| #5 | FjantSC | 42% | 200 |
| #6 | Katapult | 40% | 161 |
| #7 | Macchiato6.9 | 39% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CyberBesad23 | 66 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | ClutchPack | 58 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | PP-Bizon Man | 42 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | Macchiato6.9 | 15 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Katapult | 9 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PP-Bizon Man | 994 | 0.30 | 21 min |
| #2 | CyberBesad23 | 699 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | ClutchPack | 684 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | FjantSC | 356 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Katapult | 179 | 0.05 | 5 min |





