








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 877 | 30% |
| Smokes | 926 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 684 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 402 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $792,162 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CyberBesad23 | 53% | 81 |
| #2 | The Smokecriminal | 40% | 161 |
| #3 | PP-Bizon Man | 38% | 95 |
| #4 | ClutchPack | 37% | 142 |
| #5 | FjantSC | 33% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | The Smokecriminal | 40% | 161 |
| #3 | PP-Bizon Man | 38% | 95 |
| #4 | ClutchPack | 37% | 142 |
| #5 | FjantSC | 33% | 89 |
| #6 | Macchiato6.9 | 23% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Smokecriminal | 41 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | CyberBesad23 | 30 | 0.0177 |
| #3 | ClutchPack | 23 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | PP-Bizon Man | 20 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Macchiato6.9 | 5 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Smokecriminal | 876 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #2 | PP-Bizon Man | 562 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #3 | ClutchPack | 279 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | CyberBesad23 | 217 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | FjantSC | 119 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Smokecriminal | +3.89 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | CyberBesad23 | +1.90 | 78 | 40 |
| #3 | ClutchPack | +0.83 | 58 | 61 |
| #4 | FjantSC | -1.23 | 57 | 55 |
| #5 | Katapult | -1.61 | 56 | 52 |





