








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 705 | 23% |
| Smokes | 810 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 732 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $227,399 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sh33pish | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Minospikruski | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Schwanzlurch | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | Dr. med. Klatsch Mayer | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | richtigsauer | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Harald_Toepfer | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | Mylor | 40% | 5 |
| #15 | sleezy | 40% | 5 |
| #16 | EzArne | 40% | 10 |
| #17 | Shiina | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EzArne | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Heiße Biene 3 | 1 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | ✪ gulasch | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tokkyu | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Minospikruski | 55 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Heiße Biene 3 | 40 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ gulasch | 36 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | EzArne | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supraaa | +4.69 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Minospikruski | +4.03 | 43 | 76 |
| #3 | richtigsauer | +3.39 | 85 | 51 |
| #4 | sleezy | +3.24 | 68 | 80 |
| #5 | ✪ gulasch | +2.27 | 95 | 65 |





