








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 933 | 28% |
| Smokes | 800 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1071 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 559 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,325 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyKitCat ツ | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | GIANT | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | JURCCX ツ | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | DickHead | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | LWST | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyKitCat ツ | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | GIANT | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | JURCCX ツ | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | DickHead | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | LWST | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DickHead | 18 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | LWST | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | CrazyKitCat ツ | 2 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | JURCCX ツ | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DickHead | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | LWST | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | JURCCX ツ | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | GIANT | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | CrazyKitCat ツ | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LWST | +3.06 | 56 | 49 |
| #2 | JURCCX ツ | +1.82 | 49 | 79 |
| #3 | CrazyKitCat ツ | +1.29 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | DickHead | -0.13 | 47 | 58 |
| #5 | GIANT | -0.46 | 48 | 61 |





