










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1435 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2857 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4007 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2294 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,434,104 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kellux | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | LWST | 47% | 180 |
| #5 | JURCCX ツ | 43% | 104 |
| #6 | JackyBoii | 43% | 79 |
| #7 | DickHead | 43% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DickHead | 21 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | LWST | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | JURCCX ツ | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | JackyBoii | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | CrazyKitCat ツ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JURCCX ツ | 345 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | DickHead | 333 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | LWST | 273 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | CrazyKitCat ツ | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | JackyBoii | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LWST | +2.21 | 57 | 46 |
| #2 | CrazyKitCat ツ | +1.23 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | JURCCX ツ | -0.02 | 32 | 77 |
| #4 | JackyBoii | -0.06 | 39 | 53 |
| #5 | DickHead | -0.44 | 36 | 60 |





