










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3151 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4246 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3661 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3144 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,190,537 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...



| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() Seeker | 57% | 61 |
| #2 | ![]() Red | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | Endzeit | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | ![]() talktuahpodcast | 46% | 56 |
| #5 | ![]() Polacko | 46% | 79 |

| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() Seeker | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ![]() Red | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ![]() core9 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ![]() talktuahpodcast | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ![]() Towlie | 1 | 0.0010 |












