








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 431 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6010 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4132 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5616 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4498 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,162 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 958 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goopshoot (DBF) | 65% | 54 |
| #2 | unpoppable | 63% | 70 |
| #3 | Makoto | 58% | 115 |
| #4 | The Fable | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | mahlolo | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | UhNuke | 40% | 25 |
| #13 | n1dexx | 38% | 29 |
| #14 | ✪ exit` | 37% | 38 |
| #15 | SJ | 36% | 36 |
| #16 | hades | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | core9 | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Dead_Bed | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | svanbtw | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Makoto | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | goopshoot (DBF) | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dead_Bed | 563 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Makoto | 476 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | core9 | 413 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Tread | 190 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | mahlolo | 164 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goopshoot (DBF) | +2.91 | 93 | 65 |
| #2 | The Fable | +2.74 | 52 | 65 |
| #3 | unpoppable | +1.14 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | Tread | +1.10 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | n1dexx | +0.97 | 78 | 70 |





