








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 243 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1823 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3591 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1936 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3535 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,071,304 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Fable | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Seeker | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | unpoppable | 65% | 63 |
| #4 | goopshoot (DBF) | 61% | 61 |
| #5 | Makoto | 58% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Tread | 39% | 23 |
| #14 | SJ | 38% | 26 |
| #15 | UhNuke | 38% | 21 |
| #16 | n1dexx | 36% | 28 |
| #17 | hades | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polacko | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | core9 | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | goopshoot (DBF) | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Makoto | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Seeker | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polacko | 737 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | core9 | 410 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Makoto | 360 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | unpoppable | 141 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | DjThatsFresh | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Fable | +3.73 | 58 | 67 |
| #2 | goopshoot (DBF) | +2.99 | 93 | 65 |
| #3 | unpoppable | +1.39 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | n1dexx | +0.88 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | core9 | +0.82 | 83 | 57 |





