








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4168 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4689 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3550 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4251 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,288,869 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacon | 57% | 98 |
| #2 | Tobi | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | Mr. DuuL | 54% | 114 |
| #4 | W?LDIKE | 53% | 159 |
| #5 | Berry | 53% | 330 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mr. DuuL | 54% | 114 |
| #4 | W?LDIKE | 53% | 159 |
| #5 | Berry | 53% | 330 |
| #6 | mister monkey man | 51% | 70 |
| #7 | Rallerrullerdig | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | 54 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Bacon | 18 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | W?LDIKE | 17 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Mr. DuuL | 16 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Rallerrullerdig | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | 1445 | 0.22 | 36 min |
| #2 | Mr. DuuL | 471 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | W?LDIKE | 377 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bacon | 353 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | Rallerrullerdig | 340 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | +1.57 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | Bacon | +0.91 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | gg kød | +0.63 | 54 | 59 |
| #4 | mister monkey man | +0.61 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | Mr. DuuL | +0.14 | 66 | 56 |





