








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2981 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3459 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2472 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2472 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,025 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W?LDIKE | 59% | 94 |
| #2 | gg kød | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | Mr. DuuL | 53% | 92 |
| #4 | Tobi | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Berry | 52% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tobi | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Berry | 52% | 205 |
| #6 | NNUN | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | mister monkey man | 49% | 97 |
| #8 | Sol skyderen fra neptun | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | 29 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | gg kød | 15 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Mr. DuuL | 13 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | W?LDIKE | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | mister monkey man | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | 1031 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | Mr. DuuL | 371 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | gg kød | 253 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | W?LDIKE | 253 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | mister monkey man | 167 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | +1.31 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | NNUN | +0.82 | 85 | 53 |
| #3 | Bacon | +0.74 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | gg kød | +0.04 | 50 | 59 |
| #5 | Mr. DuuL | +0.02 | 63 | 58 |





