








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 984 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7129 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6364 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5732 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5072 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,215,714 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2849 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobi | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | W?LDIKE | 60% | 78 |
| #3 | Berry | 56% | 301 |
| #4 | Malwardo | 56% | 129 |
| #5 | mister monkey man | 55% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | 53 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | gg kød | 16 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Bacon | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Malwardo | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | LaNdE faR69 | 7 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berry | 1336 | 0.21 | 33 min |
| #2 | Bacon | 274 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | gg kød | 243 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | W?LDIKE | 214 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Malwardo | 200 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malwardo | +3.13 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | Berry | +1.64 | 66 | 63 |
| #3 | mister monkey man | +1.29 | 48 | 57 |
| #4 | Bacon | +1.03 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | W?LDIKE | +0.47 | 51 | 62 |





