








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2467 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2639 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1458 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2466 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,274,297 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SjΓΆmaN | 49% | 292 |
| #2 | Ricardo Milos | 49% | 262 |
| #3 | Unkel Stuart | 47% | 318 |
| #4 | π π² π΄ π² π» π± | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SjΓΆmaN | 49% | 292 |
| #2 | Ricardo Milos | 49% | 262 |
| #3 | Unkel Stuart | 47% | 318 |
| #4 | π π² π΄ π² π» π± | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unkel Stuart | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Ricardo Milos | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | SjΓΆmaN | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | π π² π΄ π² π» π± | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SjΓΆmaN | 1294 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | Unkel Stuart | 255 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | π π² π΄ π² π» π± | 227 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ricardo Milos | 209 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SjΓΆmaN | +2.97 | 58 | 61 |
| #2 | π π² π΄ π² π» π± | +2.24 | 59 | 63 |
| #3 | Ricardo Milos | -0.78 | 50 | 36 |
| #4 | Skoova Stev | -1.26 | 37 | 52 |
| #5 | Unkel Stuart | -2.03 | 45 | 48 |





