










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 213 | 43% |
| Smokes | 190 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 53 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 43 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,948 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bes Worland | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | mpx | 45% | 64 |
| #5 | Le Fishe | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | mpx | 45% | 64 |
| #5 | Le Fishe | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | im ok | 28% | 43 |
| #7 | LOOK@ME | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mpx | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | im ok | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Le Fishe | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | 260 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Le Fishe | 240 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | mpx | 216 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 105 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bes Worland | 95 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mpx | +5.04 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | Bes Worland | +5.01 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | +4.82 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Le Fishe | +4.64 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | -1.79 | 46 | 43 |





