








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6241 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3930 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2393 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2451 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,139 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 789 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Fishe | 54% | 129 |
| #2 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 52% | 321 |
| #3 | Bes Worland | 51% | 162 |
| #4 | mpx | 50% | 344 |
| #5 | Joseph Eisenberg Schwartz | 50% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bes Worland | 51% | 162 |
| #4 | mpx | 50% | 344 |
| #5 | Joseph Eisenberg Schwartz | 50% | 68 |
| #6 | im ok | 46% | 175 |
| #7 | LOOK@ME | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mpx | 24 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Joseph Eisenberg Schwartz | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | im ok | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Bes Worland | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mpx | 1007 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | Bes Worland | 971 | 0.29 | 23 min |
| #3 | Le Fishe | 728 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #4 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 590 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | im ok | 227 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bes Worland | +3.17 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | Le Fishe | +2.75 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | mpx | +2.49 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | +1.56 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | -2.16 | 53 | 41 |





