








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1076 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1114 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 966 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 865 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,896 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bes Worland | 49% | 128 |
| #2 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | 46% | 175 |
| #3 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 45% | 143 |
| #4 | mpx | 44% | 205 |
| #5 | Le Fishe | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 45% | 143 |
| #4 | mpx | 44% | 205 |
| #5 | Le Fishe | 40% | 60 |
| #6 | LOOK@ME | 34% | 29 |
| #7 | Joseph Eisenberg Schwartz | 28% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mpx | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Joseph Eisenberg Schwartz | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Bes Worland | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | LOOK@ME | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bes Worland | 803 | 0.30 | 19 min |
| #2 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | 649 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | mpx | 648 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | Le Fishe | 316 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | 237 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bes Worland | +3.76 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | Le Fishe | +3.21 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | mpx | +3.09 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | Jesus Christ It's Juan | +1.59 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | Bay Harbor Stimmer | -2.23 | 56 | 37 |





