








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 269 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1103 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1244 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1196 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,538 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHDGames | 56% | 99 |
| #2 | Kakori | 56% | 117 |
| #3 | Sebastian der Speer | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | kn0rke | 53% | 132 |
| #5 | Gabs | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHDGames | 56% | 99 |
| #2 | Kakori | 56% | 117 |
| #3 | Sebastian der Speer | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | kn0rke | 53% | 132 |
| #5 | Gabs | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kn0rke | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | SHDGames | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Sebastian der Speer | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Kakori | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Gabs | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kn0rke | 710 | 0.26 | 22 min |
| #2 | SHDGames | 289 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kakori | 284 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sebastian der Speer | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gabs | 69 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kn0rke | +3.53 | 79 | 78 |
| #2 | Kakori | +1.90 | 70 | 68 |
| #3 | Gabs | -0.76 | 57 | 55 |
| #4 | SHDGames | -1.38 | 46 | 64 |
| #5 | Sebastian der Speer | -2.12 | 51 | 54 |





