








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 2,007 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 523 | 24% |
| Smokes | 624 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 458 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 537 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,641 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JekKU | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Jepzonツ | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | Haikala | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | chondew | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | N1ckeee | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A D E | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | N1ckeee | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | JekKU | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A D E | 133 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | dogo | 110 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jepzonツ | 79 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | N1ckeee | 63 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | chondew | 55 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JekKU | +2.95 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | Toe | +2.73 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | M A D E | +2.36 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | Jepi | +0.98 | 88 | 58 |
| #5 | Haikala | +0.97 | 50 | 72 |





