








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 2,233 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1573 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1715 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1069 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1564 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,570 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 619 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkka | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | jim'my | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | N1ckeee | 77% | 22 |
| #4 | Zuba♛ | 73% | 15 |
| #5 | chondew | 73% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | dogo | 56% | 36 |
| #18 | Benizakura | 53% | 17 |
| #19 | LauriD | 53% | 17 |
| #20 | LinssiX | 53% | 17 |
| #21 | JakeZy | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A D E | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | dogo | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Benizakura | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | N1ckeee | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Jepi | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M A D E | 174 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jepzonツ | 158 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | chondew | 138 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | Leiska | 137 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #5 | vego666 | 120 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JakeZy | +2.96 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | vego666 | +2.45 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | hatman | +2.42 | 56 | 85 |
| #4 | JekKU | +1.99 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | M A D E | +1.98 | 69 | 76 |





