








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 604 | 20% |
| Smokes | 655 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 907 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,732 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BTV | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | ★ Handienak | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | Supremeswan | 59% | 69 |
| #4 | Fw1z | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | yef | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Supremeswan | 59% | 69 |
| #4 | Fw1z | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | yef | 51% | 35 |
| #6 | aBS -m- | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | coldoo, lord of molasses | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supremeswan | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | coldoo, lord of molasses | 3 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | aBS -m- | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supremeswan | 264 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | aBS -m- | 238 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | yef | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fw1z | 87 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | BTV | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jak0 | +1.59 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | BTV | +1.22 | 76 | 35 |
| #3 | aBS -m- | +0.62 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | yef | -0.15 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | ★ Handienak | -0.29 | 53 | 46 |





