








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1161 | 36% |
| Smokes | 836 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 678 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 571 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,654 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Handienak | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | BTV | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | ✪ Jak0 | 59% | 69 |
| #4 | yef | 57% | 58 |
| #5 | coldoo, lord of molasses | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | yef | 57% | 58 |
| #5 | coldoo, lord of molasses | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | aBS -m- | 52% | 77 |
| #7 | Fw1z | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | dmvfelon | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jak0 | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | yef | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | coldoo, lord of molasses | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | aBS -m- | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | dmvfelon | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aBS -m- | 341 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | yef | 175 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ Jak0 | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | BTV | 128 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fw1z | 73 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jak0 | +2.12 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | aBS -m- | +1.28 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | yef | +0.94 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | BTV | +0.73 | 73 | 43 |
| #5 | ★ Handienak | -0.16 | 54 | 43 |





