








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1976 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1846 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1938 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1548 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,557 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BTV | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | ★ Handienak | 61% | 99 |
| #3 | yef | 58% | 141 |
| #4 | Fw1z | 58% | 62 |
| #5 | Supremeswan | 52% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Supremeswan | 52% | 77 |
| #6 | ✪ Jak0 | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | coldoo, lord of molasses | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | dmvfelon | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | lemonfarts | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Handienak | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Supremeswan | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | yef | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | coldoo, lord of molasses | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | dmvfelon | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yef | 448 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Supremeswan | 343 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | BTV | 193 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fw1z | 173 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | ★ Handienak | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BTV | +0.86 | 75 | 41 |
| #2 | yef | +0.71 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | aBS -m- | +0.70 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | ★ Handienak | +0.15 | 56 | 46 |
| #5 | ✪ Jak0 | -0.15 | 70 | 61 |





