








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2716 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1446 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 955 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 932 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $694,444 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SongForYou | 45% | 38 |
| #10 | ak4sh1zera | 45% | 182 |
| #11 | Mizoreのoboe | 44% | 112 |
| #12 | davinci254254 | 41% | 32 |
| #13 | MOUZ.b0cchiZz | 40% | 40 |





