








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2969 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1998 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2544 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,881 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rambobeaver007 | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Buskas | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Epidydemis | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | Trash 2 | 50% | 102 |
| #5 | SID | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SID | 48% | 50 |
| #6 | Mørnaren | 48% | 123 |
| #7 | Sid3 | 47% | 112 |
| #8 | lurgubb | 35% | 17 |
| #9 | Johnny-Anton | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trash 2 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Sid3 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Mørnaren | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | SID | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Buskas | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mørnaren | 259 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sid3 | 117 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Trash 2 | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Buskas | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Johnny-Anton | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W A V Y | +6.12 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | Trash 2 | -0.07 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | Sid3 | -1.50 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | SID | -1.60 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | Rambobeaver007 | -1.97 | 47 | 60 |





