








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1580 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1055 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 376 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 709 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,726 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixie | 71% | 59 |
| #2 | slvtfps | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | KennyCumm | 60% | 92 |
| #4 | c1ymax | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | Linx | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Marklieplier | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | diinch | 48% | 33 |
| #8 | fab1edred | 48% | 29 |
| #9 | Noddy304 | 37% | 27 |
| #10 | Wile E | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slvtfps | 11 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | pixie | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | c1ymax | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | fab1edred | 5 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Noddy304 | 4 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixie | 386 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #2 | KennyCumm | 335 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | c1ymax | 176 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | fab1edred | 140 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Noddy304 | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marklieplier | +5.03 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | KennyCumm | +5.02 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | pixie | +2.76 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | c1ymax | +2.31 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | fab1edred | +2.12 | 68 | 63 |





