








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1333 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1651 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1611 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1371 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,619 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nurtsi | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | pibli | 54% | 81 |
| #3 | Kiisub | 53% | 149 |
| #4 | smul | 52% | 123 |
| #5 | Nalle Naistenmies | 51% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smul | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | nurtsi | 4 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | pibli | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | viidakkojimi | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Kiisub | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiisub | 917 | 0.29 | 26 min |
| #2 | smul | 433 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | pibli | 205 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | viidakkojimi | 172 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nalle Naistenmies | 147 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viidakkojimi | +1.16 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Kiisub | +0.86 | 63 | 86 |
| #3 | smul | +0.35 | 71 | 75 |
| #4 | Nalle Naistenmies | +0.13 | 64 | 75 |
| #5 | pibli | +0.10 | 79 | 72 |





