








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2855 | 38% |
| Smokes | 901 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2132 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1669 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,438 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nurtsi | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | KärrrGJ | 54% | 81 |
| #3 | Zonni | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | Nalle Naistenmies | 53% | 79 |
| #5 | Kiisub | 52% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smul | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Kiisub | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | KärrrGJ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Nalle Naistenmies | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | viidakkojimi | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiisub | 952 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #2 | smul | 470 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Nalle Naistenmies | 180 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | viidakkojimi | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zonni | 169 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viidakkojimi | +0.91 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | Kiisub | +0.68 | 62 | 84 |
| #3 | smul | +0.04 | 69 | 74 |
| #4 | Nalle Naistenmies | -0.25 | 63 | 76 |
| #5 | pibli | -0.33 | 76 | 71 |





