








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3800 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3760 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1155 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2582 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $707,421 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kola | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | fevve | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | ryan_095 | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | jared | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 55% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | invictus lixz | 50% | 18 |
| #12 | bernie | 50% | 36 |
| #13 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 48% | 63 |
| #14 | Resolut1on | 44% | 18 |
| #15 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lakuatain | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | nyovelt | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | lolita大佬 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Kola | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | bernie | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolita大佬 | 535 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | Lakuatain | 454 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Laevatain | 412 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | 小小羊 | 388 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 262 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papercut01 | +2.71 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | Laevatain | +2.06 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | Kola | +1.61 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | +0.65 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | lolita大佬 | -0.01 | 53 | 76 |





