








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4266 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2303 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2278 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2211 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,806 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kola | 63% | 68 |
| #2 | ryan_095 | 59% | 88 |
| #3 | invictus lixz | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Laevatain | 52% | 236 |
| #5 | papercut01 | 52% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Laevatain | 52% | 236 |
| #5 | papercut01 | 52% | 108 |
| #6 | nyovelt | 51% | 190 |
| #7 | 小小羊 | 49% | 227 |
| #8 | Lakuatain | 48% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lakuatain | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | nyovelt | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | 小小羊 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Laevatain | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | papercut01 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 小小羊 | 784 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | Laevatain | 616 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Lakuatain | 612 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | papercut01 | 531 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #5 | nyovelt | 282 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kola | +2.45 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | papercut01 | +2.36 | 86 | 68 |
| #3 | Laevatain | +2.25 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | lolita大佬 | +0.48 | 51 | 74 |
| #5 | Lakuatain | +0.47 | 71 | 61 |





