








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1223 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1117 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 518 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 854 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,169 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acheron-X | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | hersh | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Sultan of Swing | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | pissbaby | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | OaIei! | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Kal | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | mai onegai | 39% | 75 |
| #10 | Anarki74 | 39% | 96 |
| #11 | is pepsi ok? | 38% | 86 |
| #12 | fluff | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anarki74 | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | mai onegai | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | is pepsi ok? | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | sarras305 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | OaIei! | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mai onegai | 377 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Anarki74 | 274 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | is pepsi ok? | 175 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | OaIei! | 151 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #5 | pissbaby | 147 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pissbaby | +6.03 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | OaIei! | +4.04 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | hersh | +0.96 | 54 | 50 |
| #4 | is pepsi ok? | +0.79 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | Acheron-X | +0.40 | 62 | 34 |





