








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4427 | 52% |
| Smokes | 1813 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 561 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,102 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raheem | 55% | 78 |
| #2 | yo ! | 50% | 133 |
| #3 | Swag Bih | 48% | 143 |
| #4 | JoJo Reference <3 My Gorgeous | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | pissbaby | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Bih | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Anarki74 | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | yo ! | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Cachaça | 7 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | same | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anarki74 | 313 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | OaIei! | 300 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | same | 280 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | is pepsi ok? | 236 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Swag Bih | 235 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OaIei! | +3.60 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | pissbaby | +3.25 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | yo ! | +3.10 | 61 | 48 |
| #4 | raheem | +1.63 | 83 | 31 |
| #5 | Swag Bih | +0.01 | 49 | 48 |





