








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1833 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2164 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1555 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1957 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,547 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pissbaby | 38% | 61 |
| #9 | hersh | 35% | 79 |
| #10 | mai onegai | 35% | 111 |
| #11 | fluff | 35% | 20 |
| #12 | sarras305 | 27% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mai onegai | 437 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Anarki74 | 383 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | pissbaby | 262 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | same | 257 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | OaIei! | 249 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OaIei! | +4.01 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | pissbaby | +2.60 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | is pepsi ok? | +0.14 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | Acheron-X | -0.21 | 76 | 41 |
| #5 | Anarki74 | -0.54 | 57 | 65 |





