








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2062 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2092 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2499 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,569 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | afk | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | JTA | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | garlic bread (30 hz monitor) | 59% | 123 |
| #4 | Zichu | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | blobby | 57% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Zichu | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | blobby | 57% | 153 |
| #6 | Leo | 56% | 139 |
| #7 | Blizzard | 53% | 109 |
| #8 | MASSIVE FUTA DIHH | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MASSIVE FUTA DIHH | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | garlic bread (30 hz monitor) | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | afk | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Zichu | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | 812 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | Blizzard | 453 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | blobby | 376 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | garlic bread (30 hz monitor) | 308 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Zichu | 116 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | afk | +2.93 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | blobby | +2.02 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | Leo | +1.10 | 85 | 69 |
| #4 | JTA | +1.00 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | garlic bread (30 hz monitor) | +0.49 | 69 | 65 |





