








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3390 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2637 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1446 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2297 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,596 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4byn | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | 1stixs | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | JDash | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | Mist Vi | 60% | 65 |
| #5 | Entasi | 59% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | blobby | 52% | 119 |
| #16 | p0wer | 52% | 33 |
| #17 | reApeR 靈魂 | 50% | 86 |
| #18 | Neb | 47% | 30 |
| #19 | Chase | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Entasi | 12 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | JTA | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | 1stixs | 6 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | reApeR 靈魂 | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Sorry | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | 624 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #2 | Entasi | 411 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sorry | 383 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | reApeR 靈魂 | 275 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | blobby | 261 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blobby | +2.04 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | JTA | +1.92 | 64 | 61 |
| #3 | chnce | +1.70 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | Jp | +1.68 | 83 | 52 |
| #5 | Leo | +0.88 | 85 | 70 |





