








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 24% |
| Smokes | 406 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 758 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 888 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,943 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | JBS | 55% | 11 |
| #13 | Hektör | 55% | 11 |
| #14 | sletong | 50% | 10 |
| #15 | jizzy | 40% | 20 |
| #16 | DirtMcGirt | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | * Fresh | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Riperino | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | The Ginge | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | J. | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | The Fentagon | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riperino | 165 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | * Fresh | 130 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | joove | 111 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | The Ginge | 73 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hektör | 55 | 0.22 | 1 min |





