








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1787 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1918 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2212 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2288 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,667 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Fentagon | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | sprite | 65% | 60 |
| #3 | J. | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | * Fresh | 61% | 84 |
| #5 | Riperino | 60% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | * Fresh | 61% | 84 |
| #5 | Riperino | 60% | 52 |
| #6 | JBS | 58% | 38 |
| #7 | SD|amazingdrummerboy | 43% | 40 |
| #8 | Splatmonkey14 | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | * Fresh | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Riperino | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | SD|amazingdrummerboy | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | The Fentagon | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | J. | 2 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riperino | 228 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #2 | SD|amazingdrummerboy | 166 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | * Fresh | 115 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | sprite | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | JBS | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J. | +6.15 | 87 | 74 |
| #2 | joove | +4.58 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | The Fentagon | +4.57 | 89 | 66 |
| #4 | JBS | +2.43 | 85 | 69 |
| #5 | Riperino | +2.15 | 86 | 67 |





