








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1075 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2490 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2125 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 785 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1943 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,412,385 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1099 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Struggler. | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | dima | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | wuggles | 49% | 246 |
| #4 | Astrovayy | 44% | 112 |
| #5 | Ryu | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wuggles | 33 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Sodie | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | dima | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Big Pharma | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Astrovayy | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wuggles | 846 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sodie | 697 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Big Pharma | 393 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | Astrovayy | 391 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ryu | 275 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astrovayy | +4.49 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | Struggler. | +2.49 | 69 | 40 |
| #3 | dima | +2.05 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | Ryu | +1.89 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | verysmallcats | +0.75 | 42 | 51 |





