










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 481 | 21% |
| Smokes | 171 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 650 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 986 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,924 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brumal. | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Big Pharma | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | wuggles | 39% | 94 |
| #4 | verysmallcats | 39% | 102 |
| #5 | Astrovayy | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | wuggles | 39% | 94 |
| #4 | verysmallcats | 39% | 102 |
| #5 | Astrovayy | 39% | 23 |
| #6 | Sodie | 37% | 132 |
| #7 | Ryu | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wuggles | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Sodie | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | verysmallcats | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sodie | 515 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | verysmallcats | 355 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | wuggles | 334 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Astrovayy | 102 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ryu | 100 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astrovayy | +3.97 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | Ryu | +2.91 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | verysmallcats | +1.11 | 44 | 52 |
| #4 | Sodie | +0.58 | 51 | 63 |
| #5 | Brumal. | -1.11 | 64 | 60 |





