








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,112 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4410 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3753 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2232 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2717 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,326,980 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 676 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i miss her | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | Struggler. | 53% | 109 |
| #3 | Ryu | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | verysmallcats | 49% | 246 |
| #5 | Astrovayy | 47% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sodie | 23 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | dima | 16 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | verysmallcats | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Astrovayy | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Big Pharma | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sodie | 871 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | Astrovayy | 847 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | verysmallcats | 791 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | Big Pharma | 642 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | dima | 365 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astrovayy | +4.42 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | i miss her | +4.17 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Ryu | +3.10 | 78 | 70 |
| #4 | dima | +3.01 | 52 | 63 |
| #5 | Struggler. | +2.14 | 72 | 39 |





